The Relationship/ Non Relationship

(via necolebitchie, used for reference point)

We've all done it. We've all pretended to have a relationship with someone that we weren't in a relationship with. Think about it. You hang out, alone and with friends and family, you talk on the phone a lot, you spend a lot of time together, you may live together, have kids and you have sex but you've never had the talk. He, or she, doesn't call you their boo, although everyone swears that you're together. You don't have a title and sometimes it bothers you but you let it go because you want that person.

The relationship that isn't a relationship. You feel like their boo, you act like their boo, but you're not officially their boo. I use Nelly and Ashanti, who have been hanging out since 2003, but don't claim each other. They're "just friends." Which I find funny. It's cool to be private but if you've been hanging out for nearly 10 years and this person has yet to say you're their boo, something is amiss. I think of Emily from Love and Hip Hop, who was in a relationship-non relationship for 10 years and had to go on TV to get her boo to acknowledge her.

I've been on both sides of the relationship/non relationship. I've gone out with people for months, had dinner with their families, spent time at their home, but when came time to step up, I always had an excuse. This person wasn't the one. They were a cool friends but as far as a relationship went, it wasn't there. Then I dated someone for months, I liked him and he liked me but it never advanced beyond that. He wouldn't drive an hour to see me because I wasn't worth it. I didn't recognize it at the time, but when a man, or woman, really likes you, a category 5 hurricane can't stop them from seeing you. If a person won't claim you, they're just keeping you until something better comes along. You're nice but you're not it. You may end up with them as a consolation prize but know they may like you a lot, but they don't really love you. Note that if you have to ask someone to categorize your "relationship" they're probably not the one. It's okay because 99% of our relationships are supposed to fail.