I Don't Have Sex

I swear the fact that I am holding out for sex until the perfect time has caused more problems in my adult life than in my college years. Maybe it's the caliber of men I'm dating or maybe a grown man figures he shouldn't have to wait for sex, either way the situation gets awkward very fast. Before anyone jumps to conclusions, I'm not a naive Christian bible thrower who thinks this is 1950 not 2010. I know what time I live in, that's even more the reason for me to abstain.

A few weeks ago, I visited a man I'm dating at his house. We watched a movie and I feel asleep. A few hours of uncomfortable sleep later, I woke up to my friend trying to take my shorts off with one hand. He wasn't successful. Please note that this isn't to put anyone on blast because rape or attempted force didn't occur. After kissing for a bit, I reminded him that I don't have sex before marriage. (Mind you, we had this conversation a few weeks ago and I was perfectly clear with him) He asked me why. I told him that it was something I always felt to do and one day I decided to "just do it" and it went all types of wrong. I really felt like God intervened in that situation and just made it go bad, he tried to blame me. Whatever. Then he got on his moral high horse and said how can I keep on principle when I don't keep the sabath? Really? Then he referred to me saying I wanted to take a bath in diamonds stating I don't care how they're obtained. Then he asked me how I think he felt how about sex and I said he didn't wait and he said neither do you and laughed. I was too through. I didn't think it was funny. This is why I don't have intellectual conversations at 3 a.m.

I'm not going to lie, I felt a bit disrespected. It's not like I sprung the "no sex" thing while he was on top me, I told him what it was weeks before. The "no sex" thing is always awkward. It's not that I don't want to have sex, it's just that I haven't been in love yet. I want to have good sex and I want to have a lot of sex. When I fall in love, I will have sex.

Why I don't have sex:

1.) no accidents- this includes children and STD's. One or two hours of okay sex is not worth to headache of unplanned pregnancy or treating an STD. It's just not worth it.

2.) I want to make love- sex has been cheapened. You can get it from everyone, everywhere. I want a bit more.

3.) it doesn't seem worth it- like I said before, I want to have lots of good sex but I need the right person. A man trying to bust a nut is not the right person. On the other hand, he may not be trying to bust a nut but he would still have to wait until I'm ready.

Notice I left religion out of the equation because although God does have something to do with why I'm waiting, he is not the only reason. There are other reasons and they're personal. I'm not the abstinance police. If you want to have sex, go ahead but please be safe, know who you're sleeping with and protect yourself. One bad night of sex can last a lifetime.