After years of a contentious divorce, Swizz Beatz and Mashonda have divided the assets, signed the paper, and moved on with their lives. Swizz Beatz has settled into a cozy life with Alicia Keys while Mashonda is left with a ruined reputation. Mashonda is known as the bitter ex-wife who didn't accept Swizz Beatz child and sends Alicia nasty Twitter letters, but in this Vibe interview she tells the truth about the situation:
On Dating Again:
It is definitely weird. The first time I went on a date with somebody, I cried. It was like ‘Oh my God.’ I didn't even know how to talk to another man. It was just weird being there, but I knew it was something I had to do, a part of moving on. Thank God I've been blessed to deal with only good, educated, sensitive men. God will send the right person for me. [Right now] my son is my number one man.On Prior Infidelity:
His older son Nasir was born while we were together. We were living together [and] I was pregnant at the time. I stressed so much because I found out [the other woman] was pregnant... it put me into pre-labor. I lost my baby in 2000 when I was five-and-a-half months. It was tragedy. Nothing compares to losing a child. That shit put me into a two-year depression, it took me six years to even try [having a baby] again. I was afraid. So not only did I lose my baby, but now I was waiting for this other woman to have hers. Because of what happened to me, he wanted me to name the baby. He wanted a Muslim name and I loved the name Nasir. The first time I met Nasir we fell in love and whenever we had visitation he was my baby. I took care of him. We did everything that I would do with [Kaseem]. And when Swizz did that interview with DJ Enuff, he mentioned that I made him choose between his marriage and his son, and I was like ‘What?!’
Did they apologize?
No, because I honestly feel like they think they didn't do anything wrong. I don't care about their apology. As long as he’s a great dad to my son and she's a good step-mom, they don't have to worry about apologizing because they will never understand or care about the pain I went through. That was a big thing at first, I felt like nobody was respecting me. He's not respecting me, she's not respecting me. [But] then I had to say, ‘Fuck my ego, because this can't be an ego thing. If it is I'm going to fall down and die.’ People feel that they are so happy and they are so in love, but what really happens is that real love does not come from a foundation when you hurt somebody else. Love does not happen like this. Love doesn’t involve hurt, lies, or destructing anybody else's soul.On Whether or not she is still an Alicia Keys fan:
How she found out about Alicia Keys' pregnancy:
I don't make it an effort to listen. I don't make it an effort not to listen. I still like her songs. She's head over heels in love and I get it. Every woman deserves to feel that, not at the expense of another woman though. But I understand why some of the decisions were made on her part, because her heart was so in it. I can't fight that [and] I can't fight her because she’s a household name. People are always going to love her for her music, as they should. She makes great music, but no one is really ever going to understand what happened in this house. Bottom line, the rule is, if you're messing with somebody, you don't know they're married, and you found out they're married if you come into any contact with that wife, leave it alone… respect the woman, respect the wife. Like I said before, it was an ego thing for me. I'm being fucking disrespected, nobody respects me, this is my husband, this is my family, this girl thinks she can just do anything she thinks she wants to. And that's what I dealt with for a while, until I gave up.
I knew these things for a couple of months… I never talked to him about it though. It’s his life, but people talk. Nobody is nobody's friend when it comes to stuff like this. There are people in their circles that talk and it gets back to me and I'm like ‘Wow, okay.’ I still feel like we should tell each other…No, I don't care. I don't give him the vibe that I care, so he wouldn't feel obligated to tell me.
Good interview
http://www.vibe.com/content/vibe-q-mashonda-bares-all-about-past-present-part-1
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