Black Women and Their hair

I've tried to write this post many times over the last few months but I've failed every time. For some reason I've been unable to get past the first two sentences but we're gonna try again today. I am a black woman. (gasp) So I understand what it's like to be enslaved by hair. When I mean enslaved, I mean enslaved. Swimming? No. Sex, only before hair appointments. Sleep? count on having a stiff neck when you wake up. Exercise? only if my edges don't sweat. You get the point, if it interferes with the hair, it's not happening.

Black women are slaves to their hair. I used to be a slave to my hair. I remember as a child being borderline obsessed with my hair. I don't know if it's because people would tell me how pretty it was but nothing would touch my hair. I remember going to a family reunion in Atlanta and swimming in the hotel's pool and being told that my hair would break off from the chlorine. I actually cried! How was I going to wash my hair? My mother was a 1000 miles away in Baltimore and I didn't know these people, surely none of them were going to touch my hair. My hair didn't break off but it was an obsession. I loved my hair. I would spend hours in the salon getting it straightened, colored, and permed (not all in the same day). I've literally had every shade of red under the color spectrum and I loved it. Without my hair, I was ugly and useless. I used to flat iron it like crazy until it ended up on the bathroom floor. That's when I knew I needed a change. I'm transitioning, which means I'm growing out my relaxer and will be for another year. I did this because I was tired of all day hair appointments and chemical burns from relaxers. I was tired of holding my head above water anytime I swam and I love the water. I was tired of being a slave. This is not about me and my hair its about black women and their hair.

It matters how we wear our hair. Straight means you're sophisticated and safe. Natural means you're militant and unkempt. If a black woman does not spend hours in the salon, then she is seen as unkempt. How dare you walk around with free flowing natural hair? If a woman is natural then she is expected to be wear it straight, locked, or braided. An afro means you have something against "the man" and are to be trusted. We, as black people, have many restrictions placed on our hair. The Baltimore Police Department once banned natural hair. This meant afros, dreads, or braids. Anything but low cuts and straight hair was seen as unprofessional. Natural hair is viewed as unprofessional in the black community. If you wear natural hair to a job interview, you're not getting the job. During my journey, I've heard everything from "you want your life to be hard" and "you need to get your hair done." Mind you, I do my hair every night but that's how natural hair is viewed.

I often tell my sisters and the naysayers that it's "just hair" but it obviously isn't. It's about much more. The standard of beauty is straight hair, light eyes, and pale skin and the closer you are to this standard, the better. White woman often dye their hand blonde from a very young age and that is conforming to a standard of beauty. We perm, straighten, and dye our hair to fit, in. Who really wants to walk around with a head of natural hair? Many people would because it's so freeing.

Next in the saga: can we fit in with natural hair