I was inspired by this post on Curly Nikki http://www.curlynikki.com/2012/04/ugly-side-of-being-pretty-in-america.html, while some of it escaped me, it did get me to thinking.
A few weeks ago, I was listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show's strawberry letter of the day and the writer said something to the effect of: women fall into two categories, pretty, dainty girls and women who handle their business and get in the trenches. It was obvious that this woman believed that women can't be pretty and handle business. Many people believe that. Why is it I can't be pretty, like to look my best, and handle business. I know many women who do it but those tend to be average pretty women. They're beautiful enough for their husbands to get compliments but not beautiful enough that their husbands friends try to steal them. Even men are intimidated by beautiful women.
Before I get too deep into this, let's break down double consciousness. This term was coined by WEB Dubois to illustrate the struggle of being black and trying to assimilate into white america. If you were lucky enough to be assimilated into white america in the late 19th early-20th century, it was hard dealing with the negative portrayals of blacks, the violence, and the fact that the people who looked like you were the help. When a person is exceptionally beautiful, there are a lot of stereotypes that come with that. They are often negative. They include stuck up, lazy, dumb, trophy, self centered, spoiled, etc. When people find out that these people are smart, hard working, and caring, they are shocked. I wonder why one can't be good looking and have redeeming qualities. The writer of the linked article said "If being pretty and soul-less is what success looks like, I’d rather be ugly doing God’s work." Okay.
I used to hate being pretty. I know, I know how conceited but I used to hate it. I didn't want men looking at me or talking to me. I didn't want strangers staring at me. Plus, I didn't think I was pretty. People told me, but I didn't believe it. Now that I'm more confident, I love being a woman. I love experimenting with hairstyles, make up techniques, I love getting dressed and going shopping. I love being pretty. This may be taken the wrong way, but pretty is a talent, you just have to know how to use it. It's not about using people or being a bitch to get ahead, it's working with what you have. People can tell you that "it's what's on the inside that counts" but truth is people will see you before they get to know you. People judge based on appearance. Appearance is very important. If you want to get anywhere in life, you should always look your best because you never know who you may meet and what door they may open for you. But, you must have something behind your looks. Being good looking does not give you a pass to be rude to the "lessers."
For the record, I do God's work by teaching in my church in several capacities, I am gainfully employed, no sugar daddies, I have my own place, pay all my bills, and I am going to Georgetown University for my MPS in journalism. All while wearing a nice dress and 5 inch heels.
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