Good Man vs Great Man

Let's talk about "Good men," and "Good women," and what that embodies. In the morning, I listen to Steve Harvey's Strawberry Letter and it sometimes irritates me. The answers are very chauvinistic, even Shirley's. Somehow the blame always falls on the woman and it boils down to she doesn't respect that "good man" or appreciate him. It's like how dare she question anything because she has a good man.

This term has been irritating me for a while. I get we all want a "good man" but what does that mean? Now "good man" means any man that has a job, something going on, treats you decent, whatever. That's a good man. In this man shortage,we as black women need to keep our "good men" no matter what. There is no one clear definitions of what a good man is. The one thing no one discusses is what takes a man from a "good man" to a great man. I feel like the label "good man" is a fluff. It doesn't mean much nor does it seem to hold much weight. Just because a man is a "good man" doesn't mean he's a great man or the man for you. We need to stop resting on the fact that a man is a "good man" and start looking for great men. And just because he's not the "good man" you want, doesn't mean he's a great man.

The difference between a "good man" and  "great man" is the "great man" embodies all of the s.p.i.c.e.s.

• spiritual- it's normal to question religions and change your spiritual beliefs but any good and grown person, I believe that 25 is when the learning curve of stupid mistakes and wishwashiness ends so anyone 25 and above should have defined spiritual believes. If you don't believe in anything or want to worship trees, fine you should at least know where you stand spiritually. You can't make a life long union if you don't know these things.
• physical-I don't care what the experts tell you about sex and relationships, sex is important. Marriages fail because people aren't having sex. You and your partner should be sexually compatible. You should want the same things and know where each other stands. You should also know what you like and not be afraid to express it.Another part of physical includes attractiveness. You should be attracted to that person. That doesn't mean they need to be drop dead gorgeous but you should find them attractive
• intellectual- can you hold a sustainable and somewhat stimulating conversation with this person? Are you intellectually compatible? This doesn't include degrees and credentials because some of the smartest and most intellectually gifted people have never attended college.
• career- there comes a point where you should know what you want to do with your life. If it's nothing, then own it, at least you know where you stand. The person you love and want to have a long lasting relationship with should have some direction. They don't have to be a multimillionaire or CEO but they should be doing something that they enjoy and have a vague idea of where they want to go.
• emotional-anyone wanting to get into a relationship should have their emotional baggage sorted and dealt with before. Although communication is great, you're not a therapist and your job isn't to fix anyone. This person should come mostly fixed before they get to you. If you have emotional issues or are damaged, and it's affecting how you have relationships, it's okay to handle them before bringing someone else in. Also, are you even ready to give what a grown relationship requires? 
• social-not everyone is a social butterfly but you should have some knowledge of social rules.