Sex and Relationships

We have been tricked, hoodwinked, and bamboozled about sex. The movies, media, and TV shows have tricked us about sex. We have been given an idealized version of sex, love, and relationships that leave us empty and longing for what we see portrayed.

When I think about Amber Cole and her motivation for doing what she did, it breaks my heart. Although people want to chastise her, more than enough women, and a few men, have used sex to seal relationships. I myself have tried used sex to seal a relationship. It didn't work for me and I doubt it has worked for anyone else who has tried it. Yes, sex was designed as a bonding mechanism but that's not how it works. There is more to sex than busting a nut. Relationships should be deeper than what's between your legs. If your relationship is based off of lust, or all you do is sleep with the person but there are no dates or meetings outside the house, it's not a relationship, it's a booty call. What bonds people is more than sex. There should be something between the ears, in the heart, and in the spirit. There will be times when you cannot have sex, be it pregnancy, physical distance, time restraints, or medical problems and you need something to keep the bond going. Ladies, what makes you different than all the other women spreading their legs. What's inside you? Is there a connection with this person? Many people do things backwards, they give their bodies, then they try to give their hearts, minds, and spirits and it's too late. You had sex and you don't know the person.

I don't agree with 90 days, 30 days, year long rules for sleeping with a person. I find them ridiculous. I believe that you should get to know a person before having sex with them but shouldn't be a time frame for it. When you give someone a time period, you're already telling them that you plan to sleep with them so all they have to do is pretend to be someone they're not for 90 days. All they have to do is hang around for 90 days before getting some. You can get to know someone in a week, if they're honest, or know of someone for years but not truly know them if they're dishonest. There should be no rule for it. If you're gonna sleep with someone, be prepared for the potential consequences. They may leave, you could get pregnant, and STD, you may realize they're horrible in bed, you may realize you're not compatible and choose to end the relationship, heck you may realize you don't even like the person or they may realize that they don't like you. Anything can happen. Safe sex is responsible sex. It's taking responsibility for your mind, body, spirit, and heart and accepting all consequences for your actions.

I know society puts sexual pressure on people, but don't feel obligated to have sex with someone. Also don't put yourself in positions where you feel obligated to have sex or someone expects sex. Be careful with your body and understand the consequences and be willing to accept them.